GPOY

And now I will eat FroYo

I just like these.

Duh and/or Hello?

I found this picture of me and Courtney. So cute!

I pray that I will live to see you wear a crown of gray.

“Live to the point of tears.”

- Albert Camus

“And when I asked you how you’d been, I meant I missed you more than I’d ever missed anything before.”

- Anonymous

:(

Wouldn't that be nice...

Typewriter Series #93

“Words, he decided, were inadequate at best, impossible at worst. They meant too many things. Or they meant nothing at all.”

- Patricia A. McKillip, In The Forests of Serre

I still didn't really like Beloved

“Don’t ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn’t fall in love, I rose in it.”

- Toni Morrison, Jazz

A Kind Editor

“I miss you because memory
is a kind editor.
The past is a long scroll and
in it is the story of us,
told with gentle metaphor, and
words that bring
you back and back, even as you
lie there, lying.”

- “Return Key,” Cory Mesler

cry cry cry

“Sometimes I think the loneliness inside of me is going to explode through my skin and sometimes I’m not sure if crying or screaming or laughing through the hysteria will solve anything at all. Sometimes I’m so desperate to touch, to be touched, to feel, that I’m almost certain I’m going to fall off a cliff in an alternate universe where no one will ever be able to find me.”

- Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

“I want to tear myself from this place, from this reality, rise up like a cloud and float away, melt into this humid summer night and dissolve somewhere far, over the hills. But I am here, my legs blocks of concrete, my lungs empty of air, my throat burning. There will be no floating away.”

- Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

On Fire!

I'm pretty confused about my life... but also very sure & clear. 

WHO KNOWS THOUGH. 

Caprese Eggs Benedict

Breakfast today was a variation of Eggs Benedict. 

I put a poached egg on top of wheat toast (probably better with an English muffin), prosciutto, buffalo mozzarella and tomato. I topped the whole thing with pesto hollandaise. It was terrific. 

Most of the recipe is pretty self explanatory, but here is how I made pesto hollandaise:

Combine 1/3 cup non-fat buttermilk, 1/3 cup light mayo, 1 tablespoon lemon juice, 2 tablespoons pesto. Microwave mixture for about 1 minute (until warm) then stir in 1 teaspoon of butter. (recipe adapted from Cooking Light)

Next time I make this, I'll definitely make it with an English muffin (or if I am in a pinch bread-wise again, I'll only make one slice worth). The pesto hollandaise is wonderful and I am going to have to include it in other recipes. 

But seriously, loneliness isn’t the most humiliating of all emotions. Being desperate is. - Hallie Haglund

all day

You Are Cute When You Cry

oh goodness...

siiiiigh

And There Is No Place to Privately Sob Here

I do this and then fall apart all over again.

“Everyone thinks their own situation most tragic. I am no exception.” 
― Jeanette Winterson, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit

“So many years of preparation, for what was called adult life: was it for this?” 
― Hilary Mantel, Experiment in Love

Shoulda Called in Sad

all i do is cry

why

Guacamole & The Incredible, Edible Egg

What's up there, lemon square!

I took another culinary adventure today. I found this recipe a few days ago and immediately pinned it on Pinterest thinking that I would eventually find the time for it. I spent all week thinking about it so I finally got all the ingredients yesterday and made it!

I didn't really follow the recipe and just kind of guessed based on the pictures. I just added hard boiled egg (discard the yolks) to regular guacamole. It turned out really great. I still have more avocados and might try the recipe to the letter later this week & take it to work for lunch. I will probably forget to post about that so just know that I am thinking about it, haha.

My guac browned a little bit even though I made sure to add lime juice (apparently the acidity is good for flavor as well as keeping it bright green). I ate this with pita chips and eventually just a spoon because it was damn delicious.

The Result!

The Eff?

I have bruises everywhere.

via

California Drizzle

Also, I Just Really Love Gifs

I just got back from volleyball (which was fun). My upstairs neighbor is making a lot of noise and the things I wanted to happen today haven't so I sorta feel like all of the following:

I am glad I bookmarked these.

Better Than Green Beer

I am way behind on blogging... my apologies.

Anyways, I tried out this recipe that Courtney showed me to make beer jell-o shots for St. Patricks Day. They turned out really well and were surprisingly very easy to make. I used Harp as the ale - but it would work with just about anything. They tasted pretty great too. You can add whiskey for an extra kick. It was nice to be able to do several and enjoy the flavor without the fear of getting too wasted from the traditional vodka kinda. 

Make some beer jello shots for your next party and let me know how it goes in the comments. 

texture!

yum!

Pancake Breakfast

I'm impossible to forget, but I'm hard to remember. 

Egg Onion Rings

My momma was in town this weekend. We went to the World Famous San Diego Zoo on Saturday and I will post about that later, but I wanted to share the breakfast I made this morning for us.

I was inspired to make this after having good success making eggs in avocados. I attempted eggs in onion rings. To make these I first lightly browned one ring of onion then flipped it over and put in the egg. The eggs didn't cook as well as I wanted them to so I ended up flipping them over to finish them off. In the end, I really liked the way it turned out.

I served the eggs with bacon (made in the oven, of course). This didn't turn out so well - the pack of bacon I had was really fatty and it didn't crisp up very well at all. And I finished the meal off with whole wheat toast.

I broke the yolk for my mom.

obviously I jumped the gun and took a bite before the photo, hah!

This Little Piggy Went to Market

I have been making an effort in the past few months to go to the local OB farmer's market which happens every Wednesday. Luckily traffic on the way home from work has cooperated and made it possible for me to hit the gym quickly before slipping over to the market as it winds down. This probably isn't the best strategy and I should do it in opposite order (as the gym is always open and not going anywhere), but it is less backtracking this way. 

Here are some instagramed up photos of things I got a couple weeks ago. I didn't get anything this last week and just enjoyed walking around with friends, the sights and sounds. 

Oh, and I wanted to mention that I am a big proponent of buying local and the farmer's market is a great way to support local businesses and farmers. BUT it is important to note that buying local is much more than just getting things at the farmer's market. I try to support local farmers etc when I buy at grocery stores etc. Be conscious of where your milk is coming from and all that - happy cows come from California! Even though it is coming from a bigger store, you can do your little bit by buying produce, dairy etc from California (or wherever you are from) producers first (maybe they aren't hyper local, but more local than the milk from Cincinnati that I saw this weekend). 

These cost a few bucks and a smile.

Super delicious and made with local ingredients

Okay, so this next one isn't from the farmer's market but I did get it while I was walking back to my apartment. It is an amazing ale - slightly sour but not over powering. I have since had the Rodenbach Grand Cru and it was also AMAZING. Loving these.

yum yum yum

Gimme Pizza

As I mentioned, I recently bought the fixings for pizza. I didn't really put two and two together until very recently that my pizza inspiration was probably directly influenced by Matt Stopera's coverage of the International Pizza Expo for BuzzFeed. 

Anyways... here is what I did:

First, I followed the instructions on the Fresh & Easy brand whole wheat pasta dough package to roll it out and prep it for topping goodness.

Then I topped the dough with yummy things. My pizza had the following: tomato sauce, buffalo mozzarella, shallots (thinly sliced), tomato slices, baby spinach, prosciutto, oregano, salt & pepper.

Then I brushed the crust with olive oil and cooked it according to the package instructions. It turned out pretty great.

Obviously, the next step was to slice and eat my delicious pizza. I put grated parmesan & red pepper flakes. It was terrific.

This is the second time I have used this dough and my only complaint is that it didn't keep so well. Well, the first time I tried this dough was with other people and we ate the whole thing so I don't actually have evidence to support this being a permanent problem. I do believe that the pizza not being so good leftover was caused in part by the extra moisture caused by my ingredients (tomatoes were very juicy and the mozzarella was moist too). Despite this, I will definitely be making pizza this way again. It was really fun to do and I am excited to try other ingredients. Go try making your own pizza and let me know in the comments what fun topping combos you come up with!

Bunny Kisses

“The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you.”

-
Neil deGrasse Tyson

All Before Noon

So, I thought today was going to be super busy and stressful... running errands all over town, chores etc etc. One of those Sundays where you just deal with the pains of having to take care of yourself, your home and all things related to being a decent human. AND I thought with the lost hour, I would be extra crammed for time... BUT I must have been in warp speed this morning because I accomplished so much in a very short amount of time.

• Met with new fitness consultant. Talked about my goals & she is going to design a DIY program for me. We will do the routine together 1 day this week at the gym. I AM EXCITED
• Went to Michael's Craft Store. Got supplies for Easter/Spring cards (p.s. if you don't get cards from me now and want to, email me your address). Basically every employee in the store said hi, asked if I needed help etc etc. I think I was the only person in the store.
• Shopped at Party City. Found some really great deals on a few items to bring as contributions to the St. Patrick's Day party Matt is hosting. If I was a rich woman, I'd have theme parties all the time and Party City would be my crack cocaine. 
• Grocery shopped at Fresh & Easy. Mostly supplemental stuff and ingredients for a treat I am making for the aforementioned party. I also impulse bought the fixings for making a pizza tonight (I'll try to remember to snap photos and write a post on it too)
• Made some pretty crappy pancakes. I was explaining my pancake philosophy to a few friends recently and was inspired to try my hand at them but I was not very successful. For those that haven't heard, my favorite way to have pancakes is the way my dad makes them. He uses the traditional bisquick recipe but he always has his pan a little too hot and they come out slightly burnt - they are never the golden brown like you get at restaurants (or probably most people's houses). I tried to give them that sorta dark toasty burnt-ish brown color, but I was just terrible at recreating them. Some were underdone, some were over done. Whatever. I made pancakes which is impressive regardless. 
• Vacuumed & cleaned my glass tables. Self explanatory. 

I've spent the last hour trying to list out other things I can accomplish today so that the second half isn't a waste. 

I think I will do one or more of the following: laundry, make pizza, gym, clean Frankie B Fish's home, nap, read the local music issue of San Diego City Beat, investigate selling/trading my too big wetsuit & get a new one, buy the two things Fresh & Easy didn't have & a Sea World fun card at Ralph's, watch TV while melting into my couch. 

Quotes

Here are some quotes I bookmarked over the last couple weeks. ENJOY.

“She loved, had a capacity to love, for love, to give and accept love. Only she tried twice and failed twice to find somebody not just strong enough to deserve it, earn it, match it, but even brave enough to accept it.”
-
William Faulkner

“Be still my heart; thou hast known worse than this.”
-
Homer

“But it was too interesting, too new, too flattering, too deeply comforting to resist, it was a liberation to be in love and say so, and she could only let herself go deeper.”
-
Ian McEwan, On Chesil Beach

“I was taught that at the heart of all people, all things, lay raw self-interest. Sure, you could dress a person up nice, put pretty words in his mouth, but underneath the silk tie and pressed shirt was an animal. A territorial, hungry animal anxious to satisfy his own needs.”
-
Megan Mayhew Bergman, Birds of a Lesser Paradise

“He was always expecting his real life to begin in a year or two. He hadn’t worked out the details, but he vaguely hoped that suddenly he’d be doing different, better work and living in another city far away with new, superior people, even a perfect lover.”
-
Edmund White, Jack Holmes & his Friend 

Psst, SNACKS!

In case anyone was wondering, Raj is the best part of my office space. He will stealth over to your desk and whisper to you about free snacks that have shown up in the break room.

Free food is the best food.

clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.

Presented Without Commentary

25 days is too long... so I will do this all now. 

1. Straight Up - Paula Abdul 
2. I Hate Everyone - Get Set Go
3. At The Zoo - Simon & Garfunkle & Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd & Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple
4. I've Been Loving You Too Long - Otis Redding (slash anything he has ever recorded)
5. The Weight of Lies - The Avett Brothers
6. Closer To The Truth And Further From The Sky - Butch Walker
7. Lay Me Down - The Dirty Heads (feat. Rome of Sublime With Rome)
8. Make Out Kids - Motion City Soundtrack
9. Live Forever - Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors
10. The Ballad of Love and Hate (live) - The Avett Brothers
11. Same In Any Language - My Morning Jacket
12. Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye (feat. Kimbra)
13. Learning to Fly - Tom Petty 
14. I Like To Be With Me When I'm With You - Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors
15. Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson
16. Landfill - Daughter
17. Southern Belles In London Sing - The Faint
18. Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't - Brand New
19. A - Cartel
20. @!#?@! - Motion City Soundtrack (can't find this on YouTube)
21. This question is impossible.
22. Badfish - Sublime 
23. Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO 
24. Lights Out -  Butch Walker
25. Red Right Ankle - The Decemberists

In My Bag Right Now

The Hairpin does a fairly regular post where they have contributors send in a photo and describe what is in their purse. It is one of my favorite things they do... and I have a sneaking suspicion that they will never ask me to do it so I am taking the initiative now and doing it myself here.

1. Glasses case with my glasses inside
2. Stila lip gloss
3. L'Oreal lip gloss
4. Cherry Chapstick
5. "Citrus Citrus" scented bath and body works hand sanitizer
6. Travel size baby lotion
7. Bubble wrap pouch with emergency tongue rings in it
8. Mini nail file
9. Wet naps
10. Animal print pouch where 2-9 are kept
11. Pen (from Fresh & Easy)
12. Tampons
13. Trident Layers gum
14. Sony ID badge
15. Salt & Pepper packets
16. Wallet
17. Passport
18. DMV/Insurance info etc for driving
19. House keys
20. Car keys & store cards on USC Annenberg lanyard 
21. iPhone (not pictured because I used it to take this photo)

I am surprised I didn't find garbage or old receipts... must be because I switched purses recently and cleaned house a little. 

Baking a Steak?

I went grocery shopping today and decided to treat myself to a juicy steak for dinner. I bought a giant steak (for around $5 - no idea what cut or quality... I don't have a refined palate in this regard).

I tried out a cooking method that I never tried before and it was very successful.

Procedure:
First, marinate your steak. I used a bit of worcestershire sauce, kosher salt and fresh cracked pepper (this is how my dad always preps steaks). Next, move your oven rack to the highest slot and set your oven to broil on high. Oil up your cast iron skillet and place your meat on it. Put the pan into the oven and cook each side about 4-5 mins (this gave me a medium-rare, but each oven is different - monitor that shit). Be careful not to burn yourself when flipping the steak. I used my thickest oven mitt to slide the rack out and long tongs to flip the meat. Those cast iron skillets get mad hot. Finally, remove from oven & pan, let rest and enjoy!

Sizzle

I finished off my meal with steamed asparagus (seems like I always do, huh... it was on super sale so I have a ton of it) and horseradish sauce (not pictured). 

HUGE meat!

It was a very big portion so I am going to slice up the rest and put it on a salad or in a burrito in the next day or so. I was very pleased with how this came out. It is really great to have that hot off the grill sort of vibe for a meal without having to fire up the grill outside in the frigid San Diego weather (it was 75 degrees today...).

I only ate half

Try it out and let me know what you think in the comments.