I spend a vast majority of my time wondering about why Jordan did what he did. I want to understand why I became irrelevant and such... Why he decided that I wasn't worth his time.
I also spend a lot of time wondering what I did wrong. I blame myself for pretty much everything that happened between me and Jordan.
Given that, I wonder if I were to medicate if I would stop dwelling on why and just accept it. Accept it and get to a point where I can just feel something other than sad.
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