Sunday, March 2, 2008

Erin, Version Right Now

Of late I have been thinking that I want to be a new me. I have been thinking a lot, especially since things have not been going my way that I need to be more active and do the things I want to do before I can't for whatever reason.

I have a short list of goals which I have put on the side of this blog titled "Things To Do Before Whenever." Some more epic than others. I will keep you posted on how it goes.

On a completely unrelated note, I hung out with Jordan last night and I was thinking about how much I genuinely love his company. It is moments like those where my mind wanders into thoughts about if we would have worked out in a different context or now since our lives are different etc etc... And it all seems sort of lovely to think that I'd be happy with him in that way, but really I am not sure that we'd be any less destructive to each other if thing happened at a different time or now that we are supposedly more mature. I guess I will always be a little bit sad that he and I didn't work out the way I wanted and that we can't really ever work that way. I should learn not to dwell and love myself more instead of trying to figure out what is wrong with me to make Jordan not want to love me or whatever. I guess in the end this is related to my goals of above... stop hating self for not being what Jordan likes in a girl.

If it wasn't this... is would be something else.


fatpinkchicken said...

I think this is a really good idea. I am mentally thinking of things I wish to do, in order to better myself. Or just to do shit.

Your number one... you could always take a class at a JC.

fatpinkchicken said...

by 1 i meant 2. don't take a blood donation class.