Frozen Fruit Cold Compress

12 10 08

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I also may become one of these:

Your Grass May Only Be This Long

It has been a while folks.

I was going to write something summarizing what has happened in my life in the past however long, but instead - I will tell you this:

Of all the people I have met that have been involved in their HOA (home owners association) I have disliked. I think this trend will continue.

This is what I have learned in my Internet Policy, Practice and Regulation class. Because I learn what I like/dislike about people, not any of the things I am supposed to be learning.

Super Serial

I went in to the USC laboratory to have some blood drawn in order to check something about my thyroid. Today's blood drawing experience was one of the worst ever. The phlebotomist seriously stabbed the crap out of my arm. As I've documented, I have terrible veins and HATE having my blood drawn. My arm has a giant, swollen bruise at the draw site. I had the procedure done at about 10:15 am and it is now 11:45 pm and it is super painful to bend my arm. A seriously bad experience. I've been putting warm compresses on my arm but not much is helping. sorrow. My first time at the USC lab was far better and I just had regular soreness and a tiny bruise. This time: no such luck.

I am watching Trauma: Life in the ER. It certainly puts my minor discomfort and complaining in perspective. So far a man died, a woman has a traumatic brain injury and steel plates to hold her leg together, a baby was abused and has a skull fracture, a man needs to have his leg cut off because it was caught in a logging machine. Real life, son.

Today was also my first day of summer session school. This is the first summer class I've taken since my freshman year in high school. I am taking "Uses of Communication Research" which is a research methodologies class. I worry that this is a very broad survey class that may not get to depth that would be more than what I learned in my similar undergrad class. Hopefully I will learn more about SPSS and get some training on how to utilize new tools like Google Analytics better and more efficiently.

I am a call in juror this week. It is kind of lame to not really know when you may or may not have to go in. I have to call in for a third time tomorrow at noon to see if I have to report by 1pm. It puts me in a pinch because a) one hour to get to the courthouse in Westminster isn't a lot of time when you are in LA hoping you can go to work in Santa Monica and b) I would have to miss work and miss pay. This whole process is just kind of shitty because of the whole nature of jury selection. Not really anything of us can do, oh well.

I have been having a lot of anxiety about what I am going to do after school is up. Graduating in December doesn't seem that far away. I've been seriously considering leaving California. There are a couple leadership development programs that seem really cool and up my alley. I think I will go where the wind takes me. I am leaning away from working with start-ups and in the online world. The hours are often weird and there isn't much security and I don't feel like a grown up playing on the internet getting people to play on a website I work for. It just isn't what I imagined to be doing as an adult. I think online communities are more of a hobby/interest for me than a career. There are several things I am looking into and I am going to put that I will relocate and travel all the time. That is exactly what I want right now and in the near future.

To Vlog or Not To Vlog

So my new computer does some pretty fancy things and I now have the ability to record a video of myself talking to the computer. I am considering trying out vlogging but I really can't think of what I would talk about...

Should I do this?

Maybe I will just give a synopsis of why I think virtual worlds are not the future...

In other news:
my Tuesday presentation went well. I think I did alright. I have one on Wednesday and Thursday still to go. I have a lot to say for Wednesday and I hope I will make it in under the time limit. I haven't finished Thursday's presentation but I think it will be okay. I am now most worried about that class. I think I may have spent too much time working on things in these other classes that do not count for as much of my grade as this project does for this class. oops.

crunch time, baby! (as Jordan would say)

also, I've been sleeping on the couch for the last 3 (?) days. I am not really sure why I started this trend nor why I have continued it. It has made me slightly more productive (unscientifically proven).
I can't find my USC ID card. It is really pissing me off.

No Breaks

All I have left to do for homework is to finish my Thursday Presentation and write that paper for the following week. I still need to practice my presentations for tomorrow and Wednesday, but I have lots of trouble doing such things. I will do it in front of the mirror a couple times tomorrow and hope for the best.

I was ticked off today because Joe asked me to clean up the mess that Jordan and I made making dinner on Sunday. And it wasn't that he asked me to clean (it is mine and Jordan's responsibility, we were neglecting it etc) but it was just that he only asked me. I know Jordan isn't around to ask, but he didn't say anything last night when we all were around or anything. It is as if Joe decided that because I was home and he thought I was doing nothing (untrue, I've been buried in homeworks) that I should do it. I am making serious mountain out of mole hills but Jordan gets too many free passes and I do a lot of fucking dishes. gah!

I have also decided that I am going to quit drinking for a while. The last couple times I've had anything to drink I come home and feel really, really depressed. It just isn't smart for me to consume a depressant when I am not in a good place mentally. Not for good, but just for the time being.

I am going to a concert tonight instead of continuing on my presentations. I am not worried. I have a lot of time to get things done over the next few days. I think spending the majority of the last 3+ days doing homework paid off.

As If To Say, Let's Do This! I'm A Cashew.

So I've decided that it helps my sanity to write down what I have/have not accomplished on all of this homework:

Intro Class: DUE TUESDAY
Original website pitch - 10-15 page document, 10min polished presentation for VCs

* 6/10-15 pages complete: I focused my idea to make it even more niche. I really like where the paper is going, I just don't want to write it. I want to have this at 10 pages by EOD.
* 1/? slides complete: ARGH!

Tech Class: DUE WEDNESDAY
Technical or Managerial Presentation: 10 mins

* 13/14 slides complete - Picked the technical side for the presentation. I need to add in a slide about client-server programming and then it is done. I am no longer worried about presenting well because Andrew doesn't seem to have been too hard on the people that went last week.

Social Dynamics Class: PRESENTATION DUE THURSDAY, PAPER ONE WEEK LATER
Original Research Paper: 15-20 page paper with original empirical data, 10ish minute presentation

* 0/15-20 pages actually completed: Survey is out in the world and doing well. I am going to have to cram really hard for this assignment. It is probably the most important and I started working on it the earliest but I have the smallest actual final turn in quality material completed.
* 0/? slides complete: Ah FUCK. My plan is to dedicate Sunday to this exclusively.

Continuous Assignments:

* Reflection Papers: one more required intro-class reflection. I really enjoy doing these but I also feel like I can focus on them... really too bad.
* Reading: done 'cept for reading for research, at this point.
* Quiz: Tech Class - one left. It isn't that important but I want to do better than my last two.
* Participation: this is now a matter of asking insightful questions of my fellow students during presentations.


Other:
I had quiznos for lunch today. They made my sandwich really poorly. As I navigated the difficult task of eating it I thought "I am so poorly constructed" which made me think of Dan and what a great person he is.

My new computer is awesome. I def. recommend going to the dark side. They have cookies.

I bit my lip really hard yesterday (eating ice cream of all things) and now have a fat lip. Pretty sore and pretty embarrassing circumstances for having it.

Jordan has about infinity job offers. I am happy that he is finding work (he was really worried earlier this year/past few years). I also think it is making him cocky and not focused on learning. I am supposed to have dinner with him tonight.

On My Way To Incompetent Island

So let's see: Patrick, my old computer, died. I got a new macbook. I don't feel like writing about that.

I have quite a bit of work I have yet to complete and really need to get working on it. Here is an update:

Intro Class: DUE NEXT TUESDAY
Original website pitch - 10-15 page document, 10min polished presentation for VCs

• 3/10-15 pages complete: I am really not worried, I have a lot to say and hope to double my output by EOD
• 1/? slides complete: I still have a lot to do on this. I am going to have to be very sharp and polished with this presentation. I am worried.

Tech Class: DUE NEXT WEDNESDAY
Technical or Managerial Presentation: 10 mins

• 0/? slides complete - This project seems to be very made up. I am considering doing the Technical presentation because it seems easier. You basically pick an arbitrary made up point in development and say what you'd do to get the site live etc. I am slightly worried I will leave this to this last minute and give a shitty presentation

Social Dynamics Class: PRESENTATION DUE NEXT THURSDAY, PAPER ONE WEEK LATER
Original Research Paper: 15-20 page paper with original empirical data, 10ish minute presentation

• 0/15-20 pages actually completed: I have released my survey out into the world and it is getting responses now. I have my literature review research compiled and notated, I just need to sit down and write it. I plan to tackle that very soon. I cannot really complete anything other than the lit review and the methods until my data collection is complete, I will be working on this paper exclusively after next Wednesday.
  
• 0/? slides complete: I will be completing this over the weekend as my presentation is on Thursday.
  

Continuous Assignments:

• Reflection Papers: I have one left for both the intro class and the social dynamics class.
  
• Reading: all classes.
• Quiz: Tech Class - one left. I need to do well on because I've faltered a bit on the last two.
  
• Participation: ties into readings and having things to say. Counts for a significant portion of all classes.
  

Finally:
I am having a hard time dealing with my life emotionally. I am working on seeing a professional about it, but we'll see if they think I need help by this Wednesday.
Sorry if I am absent from social life for the next couple weeks. I have a lot to focus on.

...In 5-ish parts

Some things that are on my mind:

1. doctor visits and the like - I got back the results from my girly parts exam and I have a clean bill of health as far as that goes. I went to have blood work done on Friday which sucked a big fat one. It hurt and they had to stick me a couple times to find my vein. I felt lightheaded after a symptom of my squeamishness, I guess. I am never going to be okay with having needles in my veins (so IV drug use is out, sorry kids). I will get those test results back in about two weeks and we'll see about anemia, thyroid disease and all sorts of other exciting things. I also was diagnosed with fibrocystic breasts which is apparently quite common. I do not care other than it is apparently harder to detect possible cancerous growths in your boobies with this type of breast.

2. school - It is getting to be crunch time. I really need to start working on everything but I am just so damn lazy. I intend on dedicating the majority of the next two days to research and paper writing etc. but we'll see if I can keep on track. I have 3 final projects that are due at the end of this month. One is a rather significant research paper and I am going to do an experimental study. The second is to propose an online community and basically do some proof of concept work and research of the space while incorporating the topics we've been discussing in class. I have a clear idea of what I want to do, but I am finding it difficult to sit down and start writing down all of my ideas. The last project is for my tech class. He has yet to post the assignment, but my instructor has explained that it will be a PowerPoint presentation. This may or may not prove that this class is a waste of time.

3. social life - I've been doing some fun social things of late. I've to hockey games and random lunches/dinners with my parents. I have spent some time hanging out with friends in real relaxed settings. I really enjoy spending my time this way. But I am sort of realizing that my comfort bubble is hindering me. Earlier today I found myself thinking that I know a lot of people that are in relationships and that I would like to have that for myself. Then I inspected my thought closer and realized that most of my closest friends are all single. I know maybe a half dozen couples and can only count 2 maybe 3 as close friends. I feel like I am starting to prematurely worry about if I'll ever find someone and other sorts of down the road stuff. I fear my lazy attitude about all of this is going to bite me in the ass. The "meh, there is someone out there for me and we'll meet eventually" doesn't work if you stay home all the time... but I also don't want to meet anyone at any of the places I have been to socially of late. I am starting to think that LA isn't the city for me.

3.5. social life again - I am considering talking to a professional about my inability to deal with what I have come to call my Jordan issues. I have this weird set of issues that stem from my relationship with him. I keep trying to be what he wants instead of myself and all sorts of other bullshit. I don't know how to stop this vicious circle and feel like me again. I limit myself. It is truly stifling my ability to mature.

4. The Internets - I just want to put it out there that I have recently fallen madly in love with microblogging and Twitter. I started it a few months back but now all I think about is having a cell phone with a QWERTY keyboard so that I can text in my tweets with more ease and frequency.

4.5. The Internets v.2.0. - Read this Mashable article and the root AP article about Virginia public schools teaching internet safety. I am sort of torn on this issue. I love the idea of teaching kids about the internet and including safety and privacy and all of that good stuff in a curriculum. It is imperative that we start talking about these issues with kids early (internet=future, children = future, think about it). It is easy for kids to put their creative work on the internet and they should know about protecting themselves, their identity, their creative work etc. However, it kind of bothers me that this programs seems to be parental responsibility offloaded onto a school system. Howard Rheingold says [I paraphrase] that we teach our kids to look both ways before they cross the street and tell them not to talk to strangers and we must teach them rules for Internet use. Parents need to get involved in their kids lives. This simple rule applies for drugs, alcohol, sex, tv, internet, playing nice with other kids in the sandbox... If parents would talk to their kids about all of this life would be better. I also recommend reading Media Effects Research: A Basic Overview by Glenn G Sparks. It is easily accessible and informative.

5. interior decorating - I have been thinking a lot about how I want to decorate my future apartment (mostly because I haven't bothered to ask Courtney and Kate what furniture they are bringing to the mix) and I am also thinking about getting my own place at some point in the near future (probably sometime in summer/fall 09). I love HGTV and constantly think about how I want to decorate spaces. I for sure am having a red kitchen (if you know anything about my collection of kitchen things, you know that it is all red). I think I've settled on a living room scheme for now. I am working on getting a bedroom together but I worry that when I upgrade my bed when I move into my own place I will want to change my whole scheme (not that there is anything wrong with that, but money will be tight...). I mostly love thinking about the possibilities and not doing anything. This is the story of my life. Thinking and not acting, ever.

lolUS!!!

Because I can...





These are first attempts. I hope to get better and find better photos. If you have any that you think merit captions send them my way (email please).

In other news, lots of things are going wrong in my life but I did have a ray of housing sunshine today. I just have to sign some paperwork on Thursday and make a payment and I am all set.

I have bonded with one of the girls in my Master's program. I am incredibly excited. She is great and our emails make life better.

Speaking of school, I have not been at all productive today. I had plans to get ahead this week. Which I started out doing and then proceeded to be lazy with the time that I had earned by getting things done early. oh... well. shit.

Finally, there is a tiny little bug that has been annoying me for the last two hours. I cannot catch him. It is the most frustrating thing ever.

Consider Yourself Invited To My Funeral

Dear Friends,

I must apologize for being off the radar of late. Things have been hectic and unpleasant. I found out earlier this week that there was approximately $3500 worth of fraud on my debit card (my life savings) and as more time passes it seems that it was not the only thing compromised and that my identity may have been stolen. It has sucked away most of my life. I went home this weekend to appointments with bank officials, the police, and various other credit people to try and figure shit out. It is terrible and it feels like none of the agencies that are involved talk to each other.



Another thing that is keeping me busy is dealing with housing things for next year. Things are falling into place, which is good. But my aforementioned money woes are making it hard to get things to run smoothly for necessary credit checks for leasing and such. I am having to make zillions of phone calls. Though, I must say, I am quite glad that things are moving at the pace and in the direction that they are because it will soon mean that everything is done.

As always, grad school is lots of work. I am getting much better at managing my time, but sitting to read pages upon pages of stuff just doesn't seem that productive. There aren't really busy work assignments to make sure you are keeping up (though it would be impossible to function in class if you didn't). It is a different animal, but I am really coming to enjoy it.
On that same topic, I have to come up with an online community to evaluate or propose for one of my classes. I don't really have any ideas yet. Any thoughts?

This entry is far too serious.



I have fallen in love with performance socks. They have this elastic part at the arch of your foot. Glorious.


Finally, I've missed everyone during my absence this weekend. Identity theft hurts everyone, everywhere... wait, that is depression...


love, erin

p.s. who wants to get lunch tomorrow (Monday, President'sDay [Western Coast of the United States, Pacific Standard Time, Northern Hemisphere, Standard American English])?

Stay Like This Forever

I am having a really hard time managing my time. Mostly because I'd rather sleep and do nothing than do anything at all. I am going to fail at being a productive member of society as a gainfully employed adult.
I have about a metric shit ton of reading to do every week. So far I have been able to stay on track and get it all done, but I feel like it is all that I do. (note: it most definitely is not all that I do, but it just feels like it)
I guess the real issue is that I feel like I get nothing done in a day, though I may read blog after blog and pages upon pages of readings. It is a strange feeling to deal with. It is odd how sitting at a computer often makes you feel like you aren't doing anything when in fact you are often doing a lot. And in the case of much of my reading, dealing with some really complex ideas and problems etc.



I am considering going to a piercer to get a second earlobe piercing. If I do I am going to have them put in my CBRs. I am a flip flopper on the prospect.


I recently started a twitter thing. I sort of like it, though it does seem like it is just adding to the plethora of things that I have to update. I don't want everything to become clutter. I like that I can update from my phone. I wrote about it in my response paper (see other blog) and, to summarize the beginning, I have developed a complex system of what kinds of status updates go where and why. It is a strange negotiation that I have made with all these outlets.

Updating for Updatings Sake

I am about to head off to work at the School of Gerontology. I am not excited. It feels like a waste of time most of the hours that I am there.

I've been doing a ton of reading for my classes. I think that will be the theme of graduate school... reading. I am glad that, so far, it has all been interesting stuff. I recently read Next-Generation Media: The Global Shift put out by the Aspen Institute. It is a concise and easy to read intro to a lot of things that are going on in new media.

I don't have anything else to say... I was just bored.

So Fresh

I've had a rough couple of nights of late. I have been feeling down. I watched Elizabethtown, which sent me over the edge. I miss Courtney.

I had my first grad class last night. I really like the way they have set it up and I hope that it continues to be stimulating conversation like the introduction was. There are some pretty awesome minds that are teaching the course and will be coming in to speak. I am supposed to create a new blog for the class. I have yet to decide on the title and such (which is really the only thing holding me back). Suggestions?

Things have been rather boring otherwise. I still need to clean up my room but I am so unmotivated.

I think part of the reason why I liked New York so much was that I had zero responsibility. I really enjoyed being in that city. I liked watching all the people going and doing... I need to end up in a city in which I can people watch a lot. New York would be nice, if it weren't so expensive.

Non-Emo V.1.0

Heather recently moved away from the emotastic land of xanga to blogger. I want to do the same but I dislike that I cannot take all of my entries from xanga with me. I have been a somewhat dedicated member of the xanga community since junior year in high school, but I guess with new phases in my life come new ways to share them with everyone. I think I will end up a dual blogger.

I am a grad student now. Click for the program website. I am very excited about the whole thing but also scared. All to be expected I suppose.

Macy*s is ruining my life. I tried to pay my bill in store a while back and the internet bill pay shows I have a negative balance but I still have a collection notice from them saying I owe what I paid in store. It apparently has something to do with the credit card being both a Macy*s charge card and a visa charge card and all this hoopla about two different accounts. In the end I am going to pay them double what I should and have a negative balance on one of the accounts which I don't want. I feel like they are holding my money hostage.