When they ask you what you’re thinking of say love

Courtney sent me this excerpt. She and Dan Savage are excellent.

Treating monogamy, rather than honesty or joy or humor, as the main indicator of a successful marriage gives people unrealistic expectations of themselves and their partners. And that, Savage says, destroys more families than it saves.

Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt

I have had a rotten few days.
I don't think I did anything to deserve them. Nice Guys Finish Last.
I think you should still feel bad. I do.

One, Two, Three, Four; Tell Me That You Love Me More

1. There is some sort of drilling operation going on next door to my apartment. About a month ago they started putting up giant ugly walls. They are just giant metal beams and bars with weird foam covers as the panels of the wall. They are hideous and are a terrible fleshy color. This whole thing is on the side of my apartment that has the windows so in the morning all of the once beautiful natural light is kind of a rotten peach color. It is like living next to a huge fleshy padded cell.



2. I think sex with clothes (dry humping - which makes me laugh and feel a little embarrassed to say, so we will go with sex with clothes) is mostly retarded. Lex said it is only good as foreplay and/or for 14 year olds. I agree. He said it is like an appetizer. Basically, it is garlic bread and while yummy it is not a full meal. You want the spaghetti. And honestly, if you are going to have Italian food why only settle for garlic bread not just have a whole meal?



3. Metal ≥ Rap. In the past few weeks I have been trying to broaden my musical horizons. I went through a gangster rap phase and listened to quite a bit of old skool west coast rap - all of which I have a great deal of fondness for and I have my usual collection of rap/hip-hop that appeals to me (some for what it says like Kanye, MosDef, Common, OutKast, MC Lars, and Gnarls Barkley [okay that is mostly sounds cool factor] and some because it is ridic like Lil Mama, Flo Rida, Juelz Santana, E-40 and Shop Boyz). And through all of this I have collected quite a bit of hip-hop/rap but I only have bits and pieces from various metal bands. And of course, Lex is a metal head so I thought I'd get him to drop some knowledge and give me hints on what to listen to. He gave me his list of metal essentials an I am slowly working through it and will soon venture into a bit of metal music discovery of my own (so far I am digging: Dragonforce [but that is at least 2 summers old], 3 Inches of Blood, The Absence, and In Flames) . Maybe it is because a lot of this is fresh and new to my ears and I don't know anything about it, but I am totally digging the riffs and craziness. C'mon anything that can be classified as Viking Metal is a winner in my book. Also, I have found that with rap I pay attention to the words so much more than with metal. Duh, rap is far more about the words than metal will ever be... but I don't know how to describe it... the words in metal songs are often intricate and about crazy shit but I just don't hear them when I listen to it. Anyways. I am finding that I like metal just as much if not more than rap. I will have to listen to a lot more if I am going to give a definitive answer. \m/



I Google image searched metal head and this was by far the best result.


4. I have been considering an East Coast trip sometime in the near future. I'd like to go when Courtney is in New Jersey so I can see her in her natural environment. I want to see her family again but Jersey style. Also, I really want to visit Jordan and see his apartment and where he is working and all that jazz. It would also be nice to include a detour to Connecticut to see Brad at Yale and Liz in her teaching program. And since I keep mentioning Lex - I'd get to see him too and I could get to do some more NYC sightseeing. All that being said, I have a HUGE desire to go on a solo road trip to Oklahoma to see the Survivor Tree. I've mentioned my love affair with this tree before and it is a major life goal of mine to accomplish this. I think doing this right after I graduate would be a good time for me, maybe not of the year (i.e. December- January) for driving or the tree. And going to the East Coast during that time wouldn't necessarily be ideal, though I did go to New York in January of this year and it was awesome. Some of the incentives of the East Coast may be gone though, who knows when Courtney will be there b/c of her comitments and Jordan may be moving his location since his job is rotational. I am really only in a position to do one as far as dollars go. So which would be the best choice? Ugh. I should probably figure out what I am doing with my life as far as employment and all that instead of just daydreaming about vacations.

OR

Only in Cali where we riot not rally to live and die - 2Pac

I was driving around today and took a few photos of the area around my new apartment. I was prompted to do this because of the people on the corner by the lavanderia and their small kid improperly placed in a shopping cart.

Trying to be stalker like and get a photo of the people and their shopping cart kid.


Better, but not good.


LDS building, church, temple - something on the corner. Also sign saying West Adams. holler!


School that is near my house. It is new since I started college (I think). Looks a little bit like a detention center.


Little park that is down the street. I want to have a picnic there and also shoot some hoops - but I would get schooled so hard by all of the people that live around me.


Mural covered in graffiti - sorrow. Exterior wall of the market at the end of the street.


More of the defaced mural. Please note that the speed limit is not 30, it is graffiti miles per hour.


The market at the end of the street. Carne Carne Carne!


Next door neighbors.


I blame that man for waking me up everyday at the ass crack of dawn.


Tonka trucks.


Giant drilling thing with poles they delivered last week. I couldn't get it all in the picture: too tall.


Our cute house.


Front o' the house (which is now 4 apartments)


View down the street. I took one the opposite way but that photo disappeared in the cable from camera to laptop.


AND FINALLY:
the only completely finished area of the apartment:

My bed and nightstand area! Woo! The middle of the long frame says "hidden in a valley beside and open stream, this is the type of place that you will find your dream." The best fortune cookie quote ever. Courtney sent me that as a text today and made my life 1000000% better.

Home Sweet Home

So after several weeks on bits of moving I finally have everything (well sorta) into the new apartment ready to be unpacked and put in its place. It has been super stressful and I still have about one box full of things to bring over - mostly things I am using to clean the old place and tidbits I forgot here and there in drawers and cabinets. I have been having major anxiety about moving out/moving in. I feel like there is a ton of stuff that has been made my job by virtue of me being around. I don't really mind making the call for the carpet cleaner or patching the holes etc. but it is turning into a lot of little things that are driving me crazy. In other news, I am giving Sonya my bathroom accessories and shower curtain. I am going to embark on a giant project of organizing all of my stuff. I have more clothes than anyone really needs and I have about a billion papers that need to be sorted, filed or shredded.

I also want to build a bar or some similar drink station for one corner of the kitchen. I think it will be using a lot of this stuff:

(via Home Depot)

At least they do on HGTV...

I will edit this post later to include some pictures (mostly because I'd like Kate and Courtney to see what I've done with the place and for insurance purposes [apartment insurance?] and also so the thieves know what is there)

EDIT: OMG PICTURES



View from the front door - featuring a mess of stuff and some furniture that will only be there through mid July


View from entrance to Kitchen - featuring curtains that I love, blow up couch which I love ironically, giant TV courtesy of Joe and more mess. Oh, also, ugly beach cover up thing that the previous owners used to cover window in door.


View of our one wall of cabinets featuring the sink and stove. There is approximately zero counterspace. On the left side of the picture you can see the table I got for a kitchen island - covered in crap. The kitchen is the least unpacked area.


A sideways picture of the hall that I can't seem to fix or get to in a different order, damn you blogger. As you can see, everything in this part of the hall is unpacked.


Sideways picture of the kitchen from the area between the fridge and the stove. Featuring kitchen island table and piles of crap.


View of the other end of the hall (kitchen end as opposed to the bedrooms/bathroom end). Some junk is currently waiting in the closet-y area to be sorted out. broken bike, miscellaneous crap I don't know what to do with yet. I got a closet organizer thing to hang on the bar and act as our linen closet - extra towels, toilet paper, paper towels etc. I thought it was pretty smart.


Kate's Room featuring my Mom's blow up mattress (on top of Kate's mattress and box spring - my mom is weird) and my desk lamp. woo!


Courtney's room featuring Courtney's new/Jordan's old cooties bed, my computer because my internet jack doesn't work, lawn chair in which I do homework and interneting, and finally a headboard and footboard that I liberated from my old parking garage that is waiting to see if Courtney wants it.


View from window area of Courtney's room featuring my computer and Joe and Jordan's old lamp because I felt bad and didn't want to throw away a perfectly good lamp.


Bathroom featuring unorganized products (mostly because I don't have to share with anyone yet) and a rubber duckie towel - I stole all of the blue-ish towels from my mom because they match the floor tiles.


Picture of bathroom from inside the shower featuring blue floor and my box of tampons. Yea!


View of my room from the door featuring bookcase and a giant pile of bags of stuff - shoes, random bathroom stuff like cotton balls and a bunch of other junk. Once organized I think I will commission Kate to paint something for the wall so it isn't a big white wall as you go inside.


View as you step inside of my room. HUGE mess. Features my bed in disarray, my beloved exercise bike, fan because my room is a hot box, and more mess mess mess.


Picture of my room from the best thing ever - my exercise bike - features a view of my unused internetless desk currently covered in papers, my poorly utilized nightstand, and more piles and piles of mess.


and finally a view of my bed featuring gross unmade covers, my sort of headboard that hasn't been attached, and my nightstand with my favoritest picture of Lex and me, oh and my backpack.


people in the neighborhood are exploding fireworks.

feel like crying and...

I am having a rough day.

Hearing about another job offer that Jordan got makes me feel like I picked the wrong path in life... I am pretty sure after one year of service I will not be given a company car and shit like that. I don't really understand why engineers get all of these perks. I often think that the liberal arts skill set is undervalued and the science/math skill set is overvalued. I am going to be 22 with a master's degree soon and still not get the kind of offers that Jordan gets now with his incomplete degree. I am jealous and upset. Mostly I just feel like crying and not doing anything with my life.

Courtney has pretty much decided to live as a hermit in the Highlands of Scotland and study in some foreign country for graduate school. She is a brilliant girl and I am absolutely confident that she will get into whatever school she wants and that will take her away from me again... this time for years. It mucks up my post college plans. Mostly it makes me feel like crying and hiding from everyone.

So Fresh

I've had a rough couple of nights of late. I have been feeling down. I watched Elizabethtown, which sent me over the edge. I miss Courtney.

I had my first grad class last night. I really like the way they have set it up and I hope that it continues to be stimulating conversation like the introduction was. There are some pretty awesome minds that are teaching the course and will be coming in to speak. I am supposed to create a new blog for the class. I have yet to decide on the title and such (which is really the only thing holding me back). Suggestions?

Things have been rather boring otherwise. I still need to clean up my room but I am so unmotivated.

I think part of the reason why I liked New York so much was that I had zero responsibility. I really enjoyed being in that city. I liked watching all the people going and doing... I need to end up in a city in which I can people watch a lot. New York would be nice, if it weren't so expensive.